I started caring for Lois in August (07) when all my kids went off to school - including the youngest, finally! =) Lois has had Alzheimer's for about six to seven years. I knew something was wrong about six months after I had my last baby. At that point Lois still asked me what the baby's name was. She absolutely loves children, especially her grandchildren, and had never had a problem "remembering" them. But she could never get Katie's name to stick in her head. Tom (her husband) noticed at about the same time that he could tell her something and a few hours later she would have no memory of their conversation. At first she was diagnosed with dimentia; it took a few more years of deterioration before they knew it was Alzheimer's.
The years have flown by and Tom has been her primary care-giver. Now he has collapsed discs in his lower back and everything is harder for him, so I am helping out a few days a week. I am determined to help Lois for as long as I can because she "paid it forward." Lois cared for her own mother, Tom's mother and sister many years ago. At one point all three of them were living with Lois and Tom when they still had their own children to care for. She is the most loving, giving person I have ever known. She still has those traits: she often offers to do something for me if I can think of some way that she can help me.
The first day I went to Lois's house I mopped the kitchen, did laundry and vacuumed. Lois took me by the hand and looked me in the eye and asked me, "why are you here?" I replied that I came to help her. I knew that she had no idea who I was, that I am married to her son who she does not remember. She seemed pleased and grateful.
The next day when I came she was surprised to see me, but on the third day she looked at me and said, "I wasn't surprised to see you today!" She seemed quite pleased with herself.
The first day I learned a valuable lesson: I wanted to help her shower since she never thinks of doing it herself, so I asked her if she would like to shower and she said no. I learned to tell her what we are doing, if I really intend to get it done.
